Dear Fans,

Say it ain’t so fans!

Hostess cakes are going to be making their curtain call.  The news came in sometime early this past week, and everyone can remember where they were when it happened.  Hostess decided that they could not manage to keep their doors open any more.  What will the world do?  How can the world survive the collapse of an American standard!  Is this what the Mayans were talking about?  First Bear Sterns, then Lehman Brothers,  now Hostess.  What’s next?

Even Spiderman in a bygone time, would reward his allies.  Could Spiderman not fight off the onslaught of debt that brought about the collapse?  What will Spidey give to his allies now when a job is well done?  Will it be an apple and a granola bar?  Will anyone come to the aid of the wallcrawler for such a healthy snack?

 

http://blastr.com/assets_c/2012/11/hostesscover-thumb-550x559-105534.jpeg

 

How did Green Lantern celebrate his victories in years gone by?  Hostess Fruit Pies were Hal Jordan’s go-to snack.  Only losers and villains, and all villains are losers when the world is right, could not share in the great bounty!

 

http://blog.newsarama.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/hostessGL.jpg

 

Then there was the cake that was more than meets the eye!  It wasn’t just a snowball, it was a Snoballimus.  Hostess had found a shard of the Matrix of Cybertron, and created this tasty treat to appeal to those Transformers among us.  I mean, c’mon, who doesn’t want a cake with flaky blue icing?

http://www.x929.ca/shows/theshow/wp-content/uploads/hostess-transformers-1-300x225.jpg

Calories you say?  High sugar and fat content are your concern?  What about gamma irradiated Hostess Scary Cakes cupcakes, a brain child of Hostess sugar-engineers under threat of smashing from the Incredible Hulk.  Here Bruce Banner would drown his sorrows in a green and brown creamy concoction of hulking proportions.

Gotta love a green cupcake!

 

http://epicescape.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/4.jpg

Slowing metabolism?  The Flash would often need to power his up by downing a box of cupcakes in a single sitting.  His Flash cakes were a speedy treat years ago!

http://epicescape.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/flashcakes.jpg

 

In fact, Gotham City was once threatened to go Twinkieless, but Batman and Robin rushed to save the day!  Gotham’s Twinkies survived that day.

 

http://cf.badassdigest.com/_uploads/images/27183/hostess_header_cropped__span.jpg

 

The threat of going Twinkieless now strikes fear in the heart of all mankind.  Will we survive?  Why can’t the superheroes of old jump into action, one more time, and rescue the beloved cakes?  Can comic book artists, and writers survive without their trusted side kick, a box of Ding Dongs?

One starts to wonder about Wonder Bread, and all our favorites.  Could the Penguin be behind this?  Has he cut the crust off for all of us?

Someone needs to stop and question what nefarious plan is being advanced by the death of Hostess.  If no super heroes rise to the occasion of saving our dear old friend, it’s our posterity who suffer.  Our children will never know the thrill of getting a Ring Ding for a report card filled with A’s, or for a chore completed.

Poor Poor Posterity.

Oh well… healthy fruit snack, anyone?

See you in a week or two for the next webcomic!

Enjoy,
John Cross
EpicEscape.com
—Coming soon —- a Games section for the loyal fans! Love you guys! Thanks for coming. This will be a fun free way to pay back to my readers. Keep an eye out for that in the months to come.